In Honor Of
by HBofPoseidon'nGryffindorSeeker
Summary: This a story in which Snape is happy to be Harry's father but Harry thinks he is James' son. There is much for Harry to learn. The story will be a lot better then this summary, I promise.
1. Chapter 1

_**This story is dedicated to, and in honor of, Alan Rickman who passed away this morning. Thursday, January 14th, 2016**_

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

This may be strange but I had to post something for him (I will continue this). The theme of honoring people will come up in the story.

It takes a lot to make me cry but the passing of this amazing human being was one of the few things that did make me cry.

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Why hello there strange person who has entered into the insanity I like to call my head. I'm not sure why you are here but I will talk, or think, or whatever you want to call it, to you. So there's something you may not know about me. Soon I'll even be able to acknowledge this thing with someone other than myself. I can't wait!

I smile every time I think of it. One single fact warms my heart every day. Many will not believe it possible but alas it is true. I, the cruel, evil, greasy git, bat-of-the-dungeons, potions master, does have a heart. A heart that seems to melt at the thought of one thing, one person.

Despite popular belief I do have a family. It may be small and unaware at the moment but it is there none the less. This family consists of two people; I, Severus Snape, and a young boy. This boy does not know that he is part of my family, but he will soon.

His mother made me promise not to tell him that I was his father until he was 13 years old. I obeyed her wishes and have kept my mouth shut so far. He will be 13 in less than a month now and I can hardly wait. I hope he doesn't hate me for not telling him earlier. Merlin, I hope he doesn't reject me. Oh, any deity listening, please let my son, my dear son, accept me as his father. That is my one wish.

The child I speak, or well think (since you are in my head which is kind of creepy,) of is none other than Harry James Potter. Shocker, right? You see, I was married to his mother, Lily, at one time. We spent a happy two and a half years together. But then, Voldemort, that bastard, made it appear that I was dead. James Potter, an old friend of hers, comforted her. Within six months they got married and three days later my son was born.

When I heard Harry had been born on July 31st I panicked. He wasn't due for another two months. That would explain why he was so small but he still should not have been that thin. Merlin, I'm freaking out just thinking how horribly those Dursleys must be treating him.

Actually his name wasn't supposed to be Harry James Potter. James Potter is only his adopted father. Apparently Lily was even smart then anyone thought. She made a fake birth certificate. It was to hide his true identity and protect him. The fake one says; mother: Lily Potter nee Evans, father: James Potter, child's name: Harry James Potter. The real one, on the other hand, says; mother: Lily Potter nee Snape nee Evans, father: Severus Snape, child's name: Alan Ricky Snape.

Harry Potter is not actually Harry Potter. He is, in fact, Alan Snape. Something that I am over the moon with happiness about. But, of course, life can't go the way we want it to. I never got to see my son do to a man that makes me infinity angry, Lord Voldemort.

The Dark Lord, the bastard he may be, is rather intelligent. He didn't want his "loyal servant," (I was never loyal to him) married to a muggle born. So he polyjuiced this one death eater, I think his name was Janus Moaler, as me, gave him poison to drink and took me, leaving him in my place. The funny part, Janus actually was a loyal follower and drank the poison simply because "his master" told him to. He killed a loyal follower for someone spying for the other side. The fool. Lily was tricked to say the least. The pain I felt when the Dark Lord made me watch her cry was unbearable. Enough of this for now. I'm just happy that James, although I do not like him in anyway, comforted her and gave her all his love. He even adopted my son knowing the truth and treating him with almost as much love as I would have.

Yes, I do truly love Harry. I know that I treat him harshly in class but I will make it all up to him soon. I only treat him the way I do because I must keep up appearances. Speaking of appearances, why does he look like James? you might ask. The answer is simple, not really though. Lily cast this strange spell on Harry to hide his true form from everyone. The tricky part about it is that she somehow managed to link it to Voldemort's soul. How, I haven't the foggiest idea. When Voldemort is finally destroyed, Harry's mask will be too.

I'm looking forward to seeing what my son actually looks like. I never got to see him until he came to Hogwarts. Dumbledore who knows everything it seems, including my being a father, wouldn't let me take Harry in. Trust me I begged. It must have been an entertaining sight. One of the most feared professors at Hogwarts begging to take a child in. I started begging more when I saw how thin, no skeletal, Harry had been, and still is, when he arrived at Hogwarts.

Every time I asked the answer was the same. "No, Severus, you cannot take Harry in. I know you are his father but this is for both your safety and his."

"Albus," I would reply every time, "when will I be able to claim him as my own?"

"Once Voldemort is gone for good then Harry will be yours." This killed me inside. That was my child but I couldn't claim him until the Dark Lord was destroyed. That boy named Harry is my Alan, and in less than a month I will tell him that.

TBC...

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 _ **Thank you, and may Alan Rickman live in our hearts and memories forever.**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**This story is dedicated to, and in honor of, Alan Rickman who passed away this morning. Thursday, January 14th, 2016**_

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter

I apologize for the extremely long delay but life got in the way. I am very sorry. I am giving the little I have along with the promise that more is on the way if you would like it. Thank you so much to the few that have read, followed, Favorited and Guest for reviewing.

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Lily was the most intelligent person I knew maybe even more so the Dumbledore. She also claimed to have the sight. I myself never believed that divination was legitimate, but every time my dear Lily would say something would happen, it did.

One day, shortly after we found out she was pregnant the two of us had a rather strange conversation.

"Severus, I fear that one of us will die before our child is old enough to know who we were," she said as I entered the room. That was definitely not what a husband wanted to hear from his wife the second he got back from work, but that's what I heard.

"What… what are you talking about?" I responded, quite startled.

"Our child will not know one of us. Either you or I are going to die soon, Severus." I just sat down heavily in a chair at the kitchen table and stared at her. "If it is I who dies soon, I feel as though something will keep you from our child. If this happens do not reveal yourself as the child's father until he or she turns thirteen."

"But why, why can I not claim my own child?" I questioned, panic rising in my throat.

"It will be for both of your safety." The funny thing is, is that her response is so very similar to that of Albus Dumbledore's.

She continued with this dismal conversation as I mainly sat staring at her in confusion. "If you die first then I suppose I will just do what life hands me. Severus please, promise me that you will do as I say." I nodded in conformation.

When she thought I had died she must have seen herself as safe, since her prediction came true. I knew it wasn't so. That made it all the harder for me to live with myself knowing that she would soon be killed. _My Lord_ promised me that he would not kill my sweet Lily and I was stupid enough to believe him. Since when has the Dark Lord ever kept promises, let alone make them.

As time progressed I longed for my child. Knowing that you are a father but being kept from your very own flesh a blood, knowing that they are being raised by someone else, not having the influence, the ability to shape your son's life, guide him on his path, it is enough to drive a man insane. But no, of course I, Severus Snape could not lose his mind. I was needed. Dumbledore had told me that fateful night that Voldemort was not truly gone and that I would still be needed as a spy in the future. I feel so dirty, so evil. And I hate it.

I stand up from my seat at the kitchen table and walk toward the door that leads to the sitting area of my London townhouse. No, I don't always sulk around the Hogwarts' dungeons. Next to the door way is a calendar hanging from a muggle thumbtack. Next to it a string holds a muggle ball point pen filled with red ink. I glance behind me at the clock. It reads 1:23. It would seem that I had been brooding through the night and into the next morning once again. This had been happening quite often this summer. Absently I reach for the pen. I draw it across the next open box twice, crossing out yet another day. It was now July 7th. Only twenty four more days. My eyes drift down to July 31st where it says "Harry's Birthday (the day my life will start again)." I sigh, it is finally in sight day I have been waiting almost twelve years for is well in sight. But as life goes, when you want time to slow down it speeds up and when you want it to speed up each day seems to take a year.

TBC...

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Thank you for reading. PLEASE REVIEW. And always remember Alan Rickman.


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